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  • Writer's pictureJessica Fred

Who Am I?

I've been the innocent 5 year old who felt unloved and different. I've been the chubby, caring 10 year old who felt responsible for everyone and neglected. I've been the awkward, self-loathing 12 year old who developed a binge eating disorder to cope with feeling completely alone in the world. I've been the hopeful 15 year old who decided she could change herself and lost 60 lbs and started to find her confidence. I've been the lonely 19 year old who hated life as a college student, and felt lost in the world, questioning her own existence. I've been the overweight 23 year old who became a mother, hoping she would feel more complete and loved. I've been the obese 26 year old, mother of two, who hated herself and her body. I've been the 28 year old, mother of two boys under 3, who took her life back, lost 125 lbs and started over on her own. I've been the 30 year old, single mom, looking for love in all the wrong places. I've been the inspired 32 year old who achieved certification as a Personal Trainer and set out to help all the other women who were battling their inner demons. I've been the fearful 38 year old, battling anxiety when life on the outside looked perfect. I've been the perfectionist 42 year old with a management career, feeling completely lost and burned out. I've been the 44 year old who looked inside and realized she has the power to transform every aspect of her life and realized her self-worth and decided to say "fuck you" to all of the societal conditioning and start to truly live her own authentic life.

I no longer define myself as my roles in life, my sex, my age, my bank account, my career. My goal in life has always been to be happy, but I never really knew what happy was. That lesson doesn't get taught in schools, nor by most families. You can only ever be as happy as the level of happiness you've known...until you know there's more beyond your knowledge and you can fully open yourself to that potential. Happiness is freedom, freedom to express your true, authentic self from a place of unconditional Love for everyone and everything, knowing that there is no separation. If I could teach only one concept to everyone, it would be one of the importance of unconditional Love and acceptance. When you realize you are the universe and the universe is you, you will understand your true power.

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